tcnetwork | Leonard Snart

[It's been almost three weeks since Steve has seen Leonard more than just in passing. Currently he's taking one of Barry's suggestions and sitting at the bar in the Casino wearing the jacket Len had given him for his birthday while reading a book and sipping a beer. He's not necessarily looking for Leonard per say..he just wants the other man to know he appreciates the gift.]

Three weeks of agony.
Weeks of waking up alone and heartsick and unable to sleep in his own room after what happened between him and Steve.

Naturally Leonard knows the casino, the customers and a familiar line of shoulders at the bar and sandy blonde hair.

It's him and it his Leonard like a blow to the chest. He's rubbing his wrist absently as he stands up, finally making a decision.

He's going down to the floor.

Steve hasn't had a decent nights sleep since then either. Bucky's farm has likely never looked so good since all Steve does is work there or in the store. He doesn't do much else anymore. Keeping busy helps keep the heartache away and the guilt from eating him up inside. He hurt the man he loves and there is nothing he can do to make up for it.

He sips his beer before placing it back on the counter and then turning the page in his book. He has no expectations of Leonard coming down to talk to or see him, but merely being inside of the Casino makes him feel a little closer to the other man.

"It's on the house," the bartender says with a smile. "And it's good to see you back." Everyone has noticed the change in Leonard since his split with Steve, and his presence had been missed at the casino.

A few minutes later a burger is delivered, exactly the way Steve likes it.

Only it's not delivered by a runner.
It's Leonard.

"On the house as well." Everything is locked up behind a wall, which is just as well because he's trying hard not to be afraid.

Steve wants to protest but before he can the bartender is walking away to help another patron. Steve resolves to leave a large tip and returns to his book only to tense moments before the burger lands in front of him. He can smell Leonard approaching. It's not meant to be creepy...Steve just has very keen senses...well moreso than a normal human and he love's the way Len smells. His soap, and shaving cream...the laundry detergent he uses. He swallows thickly as his eyes move from the burger up to Len's face slowly as if he's afraid the other will disappear before he gets there.

His blue eyes are already wet with tears, wide with shock and hope. Len is stone faced...Steve gets it. He does even if he knows his own face is an open book. "Len." He whispers and he has to clear his throat because his voice breaks on the word. It's been way too long...he had no idea it would hurt so much.

He wants to say no...that he can't accept the food but after talking with Barry he understands this is Len's way of extending an olive branch...if he didn't want to see him he wouldn't be here.

"Hello, Leonard." He says trying again, this time his voice doesn't break but it is full of emotion.

The conflict inside is agonizing. His heart is pounding in alarm even as he wants nothing more than to go to him, to crack a smart remark that would drive the upset from his eyes.

He wants to both draw down on him and crawl into the safety that his arms once offered and it's painful and exhausting but he's never backed down before, no matter how much something might hurt.

"Overdue birthday dinner," he offers. Lame, to be sure, but he at least managed words.

Leonard's face may be stoic but Steve thinks maybe he can see the war he's battling internally through his eyes. Leonard's eyes and his hands are something Steve finds fascinating..both so expressive in different ways.

"Thank you." Steve says with a small smile and a nod of his head as he pulls the plate closer to himself slowly so as to not possibly startle or spook Leonard by moving too quickly.

Steve knows Len isn't sleeping, Hope tells him that sometimes she gets up for water and he's puttering around the ship...avoiding his room...she says it's not great and he's obviously hurting. He feels horrible for being the cause of it. He wants to ask how he is, he knows he's not alright. They don't need shallow conversation....they don't need more pain and empty words.

"It's really good to see you, Lenny." Steve says softly after a slightly awkwardly long pause. "I...I miss you." He admits sadly even if he knows he probably shouldn't say it...he probably should stop talking. Leave. He shouldn't have come.

His hands have always been his tell, showing when he was relaxed, angry or nervous. Rather than shove them in his pockets or pick something up, Leonard keeps them visible.

Not the best attempt at emotional openness but for him? It's pretty good.

He swallows thickly.

"I've missed you too."

Steve's gaze moves from Len's face to his hands then back to his face. Len is trying...he's actively trying to be open and that just makes a world of difference. Steve settles in the chair, not intending to bolt right now. Leaving right now would likely make things worse, not better.

"Hope tells me Helen started pulling herself up...guess she'll be walking soon maybe?" He says hoping to start a conversation...keep Len talking...ease some of the tension between them.

It isn't much, but it's what he can offer right now. This isn't the man who attacked him and he needs to remember that, needs to remember Steve as he is.

A nod and a ghost of a twitch at the corners of his lips. "My money's on the end of the month but of course Mick thinks it'll be sooner."

“I hope you’re right. You usually are.” He says offering a small smile. He picks up a french fry and pops it into his mouth for something to do. He’s crap at this...he’s uncertain and afraid to ask too many questions.

“Any new words?” Helen seems to be a safe topic for now. He almost wishes he was sitting in a booth or at a table where he could ask Len to join him.

He’s going to have to call Barry again or reach out to Mick and see if he can find some way to do something Len would appreciate. Some way to show he’s here and happy to wait however long it takes...some way to show how much he still loves him.

"She's been asking for you every time we go to the saloon," he answers after a beat. "She misses you."

Almost as much as her father does. So Leonard takes a breath and summons up every inch of his determination because he will not let that incident break him.

"You should join us."

“I miss her too. And I’d really like that.” Steve says relief clear on his face. “Anytime you want me to I’ll be there.” He says. “Do...do you want to sit down and join me? There’s more fries than I clean eat here.” They both know that it’s not...but he doesn’t think it will hurt too much to ask. Len just asked him out and even if he doesn’t join him tonight then at least the prospect of a future meal together is there.

Leonard holds up his hand, he's already stolen a fry. "I can stay for a while." He can't commit to staying for long, this is the first time they've spoken in a long time and he'll stay as long as he can handle it.

"I pick her up tomorrow, so noon?"

Steve takes a bite of the burger and wipes his mouth with a napkin. It’s delicious...just how he likes it. “This is perfect. Thanks.” He says happily. “And yeah. Noon is great. I can meet you there.”

Of course it's perfect. Leonard is a stickler for details in all things, and he looks pleased that he got everything right for Steve.

"We'll meet you there."

A direction to a runner is quietly given. The young man double-takes but gives a gulp and a nod. He returns in a few moments with a folder that Leonard pushes towards Steve.

He'd hand it to him but he.. isn't ready for contact. Not yet. Inside are a host of papers covered with finger paint and little palm prints. "Helen and Grace have been busy."

Steve doesn't move to take the folder until Len's hands are away. He can tell the other man isn't ready for touch by the simple fact he's well out of arms reach in general. He slides the folder closer and opens it revealing the little girls finger paintings. His heart melts...little palm prints and smears of bright colors. They're perfect.

"So I see. I'm glad they're enjoying them." He doesn't get to see the girls all that often. He hasn't seen Helen but once or twice when he walked to Micks to see Bucky for a few minutes. Bucky's been spending more time there as Steve has become less of a hermit and self destructive...though it's easier to not sleep when Bucky's not around to remind him to rest. "Little budding artists indeed."

Leonard Snart

7/17

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