tcnetwork | (no subject)

I'm glad too. I was really sick back then. The army wouldn't let me enlist before the project.

Hide? Hey, regardless of how we look, we're still here in New Dodge. We're safe here. We have friends and good people who will watch out for us. I'll watch out for you. You know that, right? You don't have to hide anything, my friend.

The project?

I know that I don't have to hide here and there are people here who wouldn't let those things happen, but sixteen year old me thinks I need to hide. I spent years thinking if anyone found out they'd hurt me.

My kin don't approve of certain types of relationships and they're punished severely.

Half the time I keep thinking they're going to come get me and the other half I want to prove that I'm out of the closet.

I was part of a science project with the army. That's what made me big in the first place. Healed all my frailties and made me stronger. Project Rebirth. The doctor believed in me when nobody else thought I should be the right one chosen.

And... I get it. I grew up in the forties. I understand. Two men together, back then, just did not happen. You didn't talk about it. You didn't show yourself as a pansy. I have always loved Bucky, but back then, we couldn't be together like that. It was suicide.

So prove it. Shout it from the top of the merchant dome. They can't come get you, I won't let them.

It sounds like something in the science fiction books I used to sneak into the Institute or the stories my little brother read. I didn't think things like that were real.

It almost sounds like magic.

The forties? Being here must be a major culture shock.

I thought you'd understand about hiding. Two guys together in my society can mean a few days of torture to unmake you and then you're exiled. You'll never see your family again. The problem is at 16 I was in love with someone that would have made the punishment worse.

That's not exactly how teen hormones want me to prove it.

It sure felt that way when I was going through it. And it felt a little bit like magic when I stepped out of the chamber, yeah. I woke up in the 21st century after being frozen for seventy years. It was... A bit of a change. Things got easier with time.

I do. There wasn't torture, but men would beat the heck out of you if they found out. I saw guys get themselves beaten really badly. I never wanted that to happen to Bucky.

So... Make a new friend here. Could be fun.

I don't know if we have that type of science in my world. My kin don't embrace change or science. We rely on magic. Are you immortal? Is that how you survived being frozen?

I think I avoided the punishment since it'd be awkward if a war hero was exiled. Getting a beating still happens sometimes. Depends on where you are but my ex and I usually stayed in places that were safe.

Didn't you want to avoid getting beat up?

That's part of the problem. There's a new friend that I'm interested in and one that's forbidden. [Since he already mentioned the punishment, there's no reason not to say that it's more complicated than possible exile if he goes back home.] At 16 I was hiding more than just being gay. I was in love with someone that would have made the punishments worse.

I don't think I'm immortal. I'm not sure. I've never really put it to the test. I have been beaten so badly that I was put in a hospital when normally I heal rather quickly. I do seem to be super strong and and super healing. I... I'm not sure.

I didn't want to get beaten up, no, but I'd fight for what was right. Even if Bucky had to come save me.

Well, I don't know about forbidden. You're safe here. If you like someone, I say go for it. You never know what may happen tomorrow. You don't want to have a regret.

My ex is immortal. He can bleed and die, but age or most illnesses can't touch him. He's hundreds of years old. He also has magic and never ages. That's why what happens to you sounds like magic to me.

I have to do that with Jace. He'a always getting into trouble and I drag him out. I used to be the one that saved him until everything changed.

The legends say that I should be cursed for it. Parabatai aren't supposed to feel that way about each other. But if that's true, I should have been cursed years ago.

It's a weird situation. Back home he convinced me that I never loved him. I was using him to hide from who I was. I agreed because it was easier than dealing with everything. Everything was fine after that until I found out he's not the person I thought and 16 year old me thinks I'm still in love with him.

I might be immortal? I don't really know that much about it and I've never really tried to kill myself either, so... I've taken a lot of hits and I'm still ticking like a clock. Maybe I am?

That's what friends do. We watch out for each other.

Well, most legends are understandable, but... You're not cursed. You just have feelings and they matter to you. That's what I think.

But... You're not back home. You're here now. You should try to find out what your true feelings are and just go with it. But don't let someone convince you of something that's not true. As long as you're honest with yourself, the rest will fall into place. If he's not the right one, someone will be.

I don't suggest trying to see if different things will kill you to prove if you are or not.

[It probably isn't a normal suggestion but after listening to Jace's crazy ideas for years, he needs to be the voice of reason even when it may not be necessary.]

We're more than just friends. Technically soul mates. Pledged to be together in life and death.

I'm not sure if that's true or not. There's no record of what the curse actually IS. It's just a warning we get. "If you fall in love, you and your family will be cursed." Most parabatai go to extremes so the curse doesn't touch their loved ones.

I'm not sure what honest with myself is. I lived a lie for years. And the Jace that's here isn't the one I grew up with. He's from a different world. He looks and mostly acts the same but after a certain point, our lives diverged.