tcnetwork | COURTNEY MARTENIZ

[Kevin follows her to the couch and watches her sit, her hand still in his. He hesitates, feeling suddenly unsure and just so raw from the Light and the effort...

He sits more heavily than he should, his strength failing him as his eyes shut for a second...]

Sorry, uh...I'm not usually out for long periods. [He huffs with humorless laughter, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.] I'm not used to being out at all anymore.

Then what pulled you out this time?

[ She asks him this curiously as she shifts to face him, leaning sideways against the back of the couch like it might hold her up as she watches him. She can still feel a small flare of nausea now and then but at least that was it.

She does wonder what he picked up on exactly or if someone had pushed him out for some reason. ]

I don't...I don't really...know. I just...

[He thought about Hedwig, the strange ripple of awareness that flooded everything and woke him up, a brisk gust of cold air that made him feel alert and aware and...

He stares down at their joined hands. He shifts his grip, slowly moving until both of his hands engulf her small one.]

I guess it felt...safe to come out.

I'm happy to hear that. That you might all feel safe around me.

[ She glances down at their hands as he folds both of his around one of her own. ]

I hope that continues.

[Kevin nods just a little, watching her face as she glances down at their joined hands. She seemed so genuine, and there was just...something about her...

She made him feel things he wasn't used to, things he didn't know he could feel anymore. He didn't even know her.

But...he wanted to.

He was so tired, everything was so bright, so intense--he wanted to leave the Light, to go back to sleep...]

How come you're strugglin'?

[ Courtney takes a moment to answer him as she stares at their hands still, wondering how to put it into words for him. ]

I can't stop thinking about...things I've lost, a whole other life that I missed and where I am now. That maybe I have a chance to stay in one spot but what does that mean?

Also...

[ She looks up at him. ]

If I can be something other than a Keeper.

[She's a small person--petite, delicate of build--but in the moment she looks so small in so many other ways...

She looks as small as he feels. All the time.]

I...I don't know what a Keeper is? But...I only just met you, and I know a lot about you, and--and you're a lot of things. You're a woman, a healer, a friend--

[He's cut off by a voice only he can hear, gaze distant as he lapsed into silence, then smiled with a quiet huff of laughter.]

...and a mage, apparently--least you are, according to Hedwig.

It's hard to explain and it's not really my story to tell, not completely.

[ She sighs, closing her eyes briefly as he comments that she is a woman, a healer, a friend...]

That is true.

[ Opening her eyes, she looks at him again with a tired smile. ]

When you popped out here a couple of minutes ago, how did you feel?

[Not her story to tell? Kevin understand that all too well, so he lets it go. When she asks him how he felt when he first took the Light to see her... that’s a harder question to address.

He’s not fond of, or used to, addressing his own feelings. But... he tries, clinging to her a lifeline as he does.]

Uh...scared? But I’m always scared...uhm...confused. Worried.

... tired.

[ The emotions she couldn't do much about beyond offer comfort and empathy but she nods as he confesses to feeling tired too. It was a feeling she understood all too well since she could feel it like a weight in her soul.

Most of the time, she could bear it but there were times when she felt like it might crush her. Times when she couldn't quite shake it loose or pretend that it wasn't there. ]

Do you still feel tired?

[Kevin considered her question a moment, then nodded a little.]

...but...maybe not as tired as I was?

[He falls silent a moment, then watches her with new interest.]

How ‘bout you?

[ The corners of her mouth flicker with a little smile as she leans her head against the back of the couch. ]

Still tired. There are certain aspects of my ability that I can't really turn off.

[ In other words, even in her tired state, her magic is still working on him to make him feel a bit better. A bit stronger. ]

[Kevin's not the smartest guy in the world, but he thinks he might understand. Based on what little he knows, the way she's talking...

He's hurting her by being in the Light.

The realization makes his eyes go wide, and his heart is suddenly slamming against his ribs with such force it feels like it'll shatter him. It hurts, he doesn't want to hurt anyone else, especially her...]

...I have to go.

[The words are certain, soft, and apologetic.]

I'm sorry, I have to go...

[He shakes his head...and tenses, head bowing silently--but visibly losing his grip on the Light.]

Kevin.

[ Her voice is soft as she reaches up to press her free hand against the side of his face, cupping his jaw as she tried to catch his gaze and hold it. ]

You’re not hurting me. This is what I am and it makes me feel good to make other people stronger. You don’t need to leave.

[ But she understands that he isn’t used to this. She can see it in his behaviour as she draws her thumb along his cheekbone before letting her fingers trail down the side of his neck to his shoulder. ]

But you can go if you need to. Just promise me that you’ll visit me later.

I-I-I...I can't, I'm not in charge of the Light.

[...but for the first time that he can remember? He wishes he were. He wasn't even aware of pressing his head into her hand, or how his shoulders sagged with the release of tension, straightening with a sudden and overpowering sense of safety.

He almost feels it then, that little something extra bleeding out of her and into him, filling him up with warmth and light and everything he's never, ever had before.

He can't let someone that good suffer to make him feel better. This is all too much, too good and too terrible and as good as she makes him feel, he can't handle the guilt...

Kevin reaches up, pressing her hand closer to his cheek, opens his mouth to speak...

...and tenses with a choked sound as he gives up the Light, and the others fight for control of it.

It's not quick. It's not brief...and soon, his body doubles over, body popping and remolding itself.

When his head lifted, the eyes were black instead of blue, dark veins standing out beneath the skin of his torso, still bare thanks to Hedwig's earlier actions to bring the Beast to the surface.

Now, the Beast leaned in, dragging her hand off his face and hanging onto it as he got in her space and drew in her scent.]

You...have...suffered, child.

[ She can feel him slipping away after she tells him to come visit her again, not surprised by his need to retreat after he realized that he might be hurting her in some way.

She watches as the struggle begins with a surge of different energies swirling about until one slips into place like a dark whisper. Almost immediately she is tense, wary, and unknowing of what might happen next as the Beast claims control of the Light.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she stays still as he lifts his head to look at her, grabbing her hand and pulling her forward even as he leans into her personal space. She lets it happen too, letting him close before blinking at his statement. ]

Why...do you say that?

You...weaken in, our...presence.

[He pressed close, pushing his cheek against hers as he breathed deep, sniffing and snuffling like an animal until his nose was pushed against her temple, his voice rumbling against her ear like the gentlest of thunder.]

You...weaken...in the presence...of all.

[He draws back abruptly, staring into her face with teeth half bared...then after a moment he lifts a hand, fingers curled like talons--but reaches for her slowly, laying it atop her head in benediction.]

You...have seen us. You...protect...Kevin.

[ Her eyes flutter close at the feel of his hand resting atop her head, causing her to relax a bit as she realizes that this is his way of accepting her. Or at least, she really hopes that it is.

Then she opens her eyes again, looking at him again. ]

I want to protect all of you. But only if you're not hurting people.

[The Beast makes a disgruntled sound--a snort, a half growl, his hand slowly slipping off her head to rest on her shoulder.]

I shall not harm...my Horde. I...shall not harm...my Broken.

Both...dwell here. I...shall not...harm...them.

[His hand slides down her arm, finding her hand. He clasps it between both of his, then lifts it, bowing his head to press his cheek to her fingers with a sigh of relief and pleasure.]

I...shall bask...in the presence...of my beloved Broken Ones.

[ It seems she is safe.

That helps her to nod slowly as he comments that he won't harm his Horde or his Broken. She isn't entirely sure what that means yet but it seems he has included her in that category.

She also recognizes that it doesn't mean everyone is safe but she can keep an eye on him. ]

Good.

[ She murmurs, pressing her fingers against his cheek gently, not pulling away. ]

Then we'll be okay.

COURTNEY MARTENIZ

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