tcnetwork | COURTNEY MARTENIZ

[ Courtney waits for either more disagreement from Dennis...or for someone else to take control. Which is exactly what happens as Hedwig shifts into the Light, causing her features to soften a bit but in a different manner than it might for someone else in the same body. ]

It's a bit more than that, sweetheart.

[ She pauses, considering what to say next. ]

Saying that I'm a witch might have been close at one time though I was called a mage more often than not. Since then, I've become something else as well.

[The admission made Hedwig brighten, his smile returning.]

So if you're magic, etcetera, an' magic makes you sick, an' your magic stuff lets you heal people, could you use your magic ta heal yourself? 'Cause we got magic that could help. You could have some of ours! The Beast is kinda magical, y'know? 'Cause he's kinda like a comic book character, an' some of them is magic.

[ Courtney chuckles softly, lifting a hand to cup the side of his face so she can brush her thumb against his cheek. ]

Don't worry. My magic usually does keep me healthy but sometimes tapping into it the way I need to drains me which means I have to enter a healing sleep for a little while.

[ Which might explain some of the radio silence over the last couple days. ]

And the magic I drew from someone else recently was different from my own, so there were some nasty side effects.

But you're very sweet for offering your own magic. I couldn't do it though, I wouldn't want to risk hurting any of you. Not even the Beast.

But that's it! You can't hurt the Beast!

[Hedwig bounces with excitement as he says it. He wants to help, and he really wants to help because of the way she touched him. She put her hand on his cheek, and she smiled at him. She laughed, but not in a mean way...

It kind of felt like the way Kevin's dad sometimes touched them. How he'd just hold their head between his hands before kissing the top of his head, before he left on the train.

He thought it might be like what having a sister was like. Or a mom, a real mom. Not like Kevin's mom.

So he wants to help. Just as much as Mr. Dennis does, who's standing close to the Light, but not in it--and he's not mad.]

Nothin' can hurt the Beast, he's the biggest an' toughest guy in the world!

[Maybe she needed to see him...

Bouncing back a couple of steps, Hedwig starts shrugging off the stylish cardigan Mister Barry had been wearing before Mister Dennis took the light.

And when that was off, Hedwig quickly skinned off the t-shirt underneath.]

Hedwig...Hedwig, no....I just...Hedwig.

[ Courtney tries to protest as he starts shrugging off his cardigan and quickly follows it by peeling off the t-shirt underneath, causing her blink.

Then she sighs, moving forward quickly to grab his hands so she can draw his attention back to her. ]

Honey, I appreciate what you're trying to do but I just don't have energy for him right now, okay? If something goes wrong, I'm not sure I could fight him.

[ Which is sort of a lie but he doesn't need to know that.

Then she sighs, her shoulders slumping a bit as she looks down between them before closing her eyes. ]

I just...it's a bunch of things going on right now.

[ She looks at him. ]

Don't you ever have those days where you're just...tired, maybe a little sad and feeling just a bit lost?

[Hedwig frowns at her as she stops him, tries to explain...and it hurts him a lot for reasons he can't explain. He just wants to make it better for her, 'cause she was so nice to him.

But she's holding his hands, and the way she holds them...

Hedwig suddenly tenses, neck and shoulders straining as he's torn forcibly from the Light. His grip on her hands tightens, spine starting to bow...

...then he relaxes, his grip easing.

The face no longer belongs to Hedwig. The muscular body isn't as big or as powerful as Dennis, isn't as frenetic as Hedwig or athletic as Barry, but it's well built--and yet it's bent, shoulders hunched just a little and back visibly slumping under an unseen weight.

And his features are as haggard and as worn out as she feels. They're pale, tired, and pinched with pain.

It was her weariness, her quiet suffering, that had tugged Kevin to the surface. He never met her before, not really...but he woke up a couple times and heard the others talking about her...]

...hey.

[His hands twist in her grip, fingers gently wrapping around hers. He has a softer East Coast accent, voice higher than Dennis's, but with just a touch of gravel in it.]

What's goin' on? What's the matter?

[ She might have said something more, something to soothe the worry on Hedwig's face when he looked at her with a little frown but she feels the shift coming.

She watches as he tenses before he slips away, allowing someone else to step into the Light...and this one she doesn't recognize but almost immediately her heart ache. The energy she feels from him hurts as she looks up into his face, noting the way he seems to fold forward a bit before looking at her. ]

I'm just...struggling.

[ She confesses, tilting her head to the side with a curious look. ]

Who are you?

I, uh...Kevin. My name's Kevin.

[He feels shaky already--the world is too bright, too intense--but her hands in his feel...good. Soothing, warm...real. Plus, she looks at him in a way he likes. Her gaze is soft and open, and he doesn't feel scrutinized or studied by it.

Just...seen.

Looking down at their joined hands, he falters for a second...then lets one go to reach out with visible uncertainty to lay his hand on her shoulder.]

I know what that feels like. Uh...y-you wanna sit down? You look so tired...

[ Even in her tired state, she could feel a little bit of her energy seeking towards him, trying to soothe and make him feel better while she realized she was dealing with the first. She studies him closely now, wondering more as he lets go if one of her hands to touch her shoulder. ]

Only if you sit down with me?

[Kevin hesitates a long moment, suddenly afraid--he doesn't even know how he's here, not really. He was curious, he was...called, but no one sent for him. He just sort of...came out.

He's not strong enough for this--he's not in charge of the Light.

And yet--he feels a thread of something, like a string tying him to the spot, to the hand he held and the shoulder he was touching--rubbing a little, up and down like he could will warmth and strength into her.

It's such a little thing, but it feels huge to him.

You said hi to the people. You can do this, too.

Jade's voice is distant, but audible, reminding him of the insurmountable thing he's already done in this place. Sitting down--having a visit...

He can do this.

So he takes a deep breath and nods.]

Okay...okay, I can do that.

[ Courtney feels the flicker of fear threading through his energy, the hesitance at the idea of sitting and talking to her. She didn’t take it personally though as she already knew there were a lot of issues at play at the moment. More than she knew, she was sure.

Then she smiles softly when he agrees, beaming just a little before nodding and moving to sit on the couch with him. It helps for a minute to push back the chill that has been plaguing her but it’s brief.

Settling in place, she looks up at him as she waits for him to sit. ]

[Kevin follows her to the couch and watches her sit, her hand still in his. He hesitates, feeling suddenly unsure and just so raw from the Light and the effort...

He sits more heavily than he should, his strength failing him as his eyes shut for a second...]

Sorry, uh...I'm not usually out for long periods. [He huffs with humorless laughter, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.] I'm not used to being out at all anymore.

Then what pulled you out this time?

[ She asks him this curiously as she shifts to face him, leaning sideways against the back of the couch like it might hold her up as she watches him. She can still feel a small flare of nausea now and then but at least that was it.

She does wonder what he picked up on exactly or if someone had pushed him out for some reason. ]

I don't...I don't really...know. I just...

[He thought about Hedwig, the strange ripple of awareness that flooded everything and woke him up, a brisk gust of cold air that made him feel alert and aware and...

He stares down at their joined hands. He shifts his grip, slowly moving until both of his hands engulf her small one.]

I guess it felt...safe to come out.

I'm happy to hear that. That you might all feel safe around me.

[ She glances down at their hands as he folds both of his around one of her own. ]

I hope that continues.

[Kevin nods just a little, watching her face as she glances down at their joined hands. She seemed so genuine, and there was just...something about her...

She made him feel things he wasn't used to, things he didn't know he could feel anymore. He didn't even know her.

But...he wanted to.

He was so tired, everything was so bright, so intense--he wanted to leave the Light, to go back to sleep...]

How come you're strugglin'?

[ Courtney takes a moment to answer him as she stares at their hands still, wondering how to put it into words for him. ]

I can't stop thinking about...things I've lost, a whole other life that I missed and where I am now. That maybe I have a chance to stay in one spot but what does that mean?

Also...

[ She looks up at him. ]

If I can be something other than a Keeper.

[She's a small person--petite, delicate of build--but in the moment she looks so small in so many other ways...

She looks as small as he feels. All the time.]

I...I don't know what a Keeper is? But...I only just met you, and I know a lot about you, and--and you're a lot of things. You're a woman, a healer, a friend--

[He's cut off by a voice only he can hear, gaze distant as he lapsed into silence, then smiled with a quiet huff of laughter.]

...and a mage, apparently--least you are, according to Hedwig.

It's hard to explain and it's not really my story to tell, not completely.

[ She sighs, closing her eyes briefly as he comments that she is a woman, a healer, a friend...]

That is true.

[ Opening her eyes, she looks at him again with a tired smile. ]

When you popped out here a couple of minutes ago, how did you feel?

[Not her story to tell? Kevin understand that all too well, so he lets it go. When she asks him how he felt when he first took the Light to see her... that’s a harder question to address.

He’s not fond of, or used to, addressing his own feelings. But... he tries, clinging to her a lifeline as he does.]

Uh...scared? But I’m always scared...uhm...confused. Worried.

... tired.

[ The emotions she couldn't do much about beyond offer comfort and empathy but she nods as he confesses to feeling tired too. It was a feeling she understood all too well since she could feel it like a weight in her soul.

Most of the time, she could bear it but there were times when she felt like it might crush her. Times when she couldn't quite shake it loose or pretend that it wasn't there. ]

Do you still feel tired?

[Kevin considered her question a moment, then nodded a little.]

...but...maybe not as tired as I was?

[He falls silent a moment, then watches her with new interest.]

How ‘bout you?

[ The corners of her mouth flicker with a little smile as she leans her head against the back of the couch. ]

Still tired. There are certain aspects of my ability that I can't really turn off.

[ In other words, even in her tired state, her magic is still working on him to make him feel a bit better. A bit stronger. ]

[Kevin's not the smartest guy in the world, but he thinks he might understand. Based on what little he knows, the way she's talking...

He's hurting her by being in the Light.

The realization makes his eyes go wide, and his heart is suddenly slamming against his ribs with such force it feels like it'll shatter him. It hurts, he doesn't want to hurt anyone else, especially her...]

...I have to go.

[The words are certain, soft, and apologetic.]

I'm sorry, I have to go...

[He shakes his head...and tenses, head bowing silently--but visibly losing his grip on the Light.]

Kevin.

[ Her voice is soft as she reaches up to press her free hand against the side of his face, cupping his jaw as she tried to catch his gaze and hold it. ]

You’re not hurting me. This is what I am and it makes me feel good to make other people stronger. You don’t need to leave.

[ But she understands that he isn’t used to this. She can see it in his behaviour as she draws her thumb along his cheekbone before letting her fingers trail down the side of his neck to his shoulder. ]

But you can go if you need to. Just promise me that you’ll visit me later.

COURTNEY MARTENIZ

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